I Just Didn't Know.

"I just didn't know", is what I thought about having another baby. I mean, my life felt so full with just Belle that I "just didn't know" if I wanted to go through all the stages again with another baby. "I just didn't know" if I could possibly hold enough love in my heart for two babies! "I just didn't know" if Anthony could handle me pregnant again...

"I just didn't know" what a beautiful baby was waiting for me in Heaven. "I just didn't know" a sister could show so much love to another sister at such a young age. "I just didn't know" what such a contagious laugh could add to something that was silly. "I just didn't know" my heart could expand to the size it is now.

Layla, Mommy loves you so! Without knowing it you gave our little family the song in our hearts and the completeness that we needed. Your daddy adores you and your sister will always need you. You are SO special to all of us! I love you.

My Sweet Girl.

Have you ever felt so very undeserving of a child? I have. Belle came into this world with the world's biggest chocolate brown eyes, so deep, one could get lost in them, and such a steady soul searching stare. Beautiful. She was and still is my teacher in how to best be a mommy. She doesn't hold grudges and she is very forgiving and wants to see God in everything. I'm proud to be her mommy and I hope that she is proud to be my daughter. I know that there will be times that she just KNOWS she knows better than me but God, I hope they are few and far between. I pray that I will always stay approachable and loving and stern when she needs me to be.
Belle, Mommy loves you so much and SO enjoy watching you grow. You are a gift.
Love,
Mommy